Change is hard. Last week as we worked our way through our second full week of quarantine here at home I noticed that the days seemed to get longer and the moods of my family members shifted a bit.
In addition to distance learning and now having all family members home 24/7 tensions were high. With new restrictions on travel and the difficult reality that we would all be home a lot longer than we hoped, many emotions were bubbling to the surface.
My husband and I worked very hard to to be open about what we were feeling and acknowledge our own feelings as well as the feelings of our children. Even though we were doing some very helpful things, some of the feelings came out in ways that were hurtful. We were all a bit more snippy than usual. We were less motivated to get up and get moving and then feeling disappointed in our lack of motivation. Sometimes another family member was in our space or using materials we wanted at the same time and it was irritating. Tempers flared.
Three things became very important:
- Open communication and Noticing–it is important that my husband and I communicate with each other about how we are feeling and allow that to be ok. The Power of Acceptance is huge! It is also important that we have an open dialogue with our teens and pay close attention to their behavior so we can notice the feelings they may be displaying even if they don’t come right out and say it.
- Exercise the Power of OOPS!–In Conscious Discipline, OOPS stands for “Other Opportunities to Practice Skills.” We all make mistakes. In fact, mistakes are an essential part of the learning process. It is how we view our mistakes and the mistakes of others that makes a difference. If we beat ourselves up because we yelled at someone, then it takes us to the lower centers of the brain and we are unable to do it any differently. If instead we OOPS and breathe we can wish ourselves well and be able to say it differently or maybe ask forgiveness and solve the problem. We do have a choice! 🙂
- Get into a helpful routine–do more than just think about it. Write down some solid ideas and put them up somewhere to help you have a plan. Write out your schedule and make sure you include time for your Brain Smart Start! This applies to you personally as well as your children. If you have older kids, talk to them about it. Get some of their ideas and help them make a plan for themselves that is helpful. Make sure you get your DAILY FOUR: Unite, Destress, Connect, and Commit. Everyone does better when they are intentional about creating patterns that bring a sense of safety and connection.
Speaking of Brain Smart Starts, I feel so happy to share our next weekly video with you today. You can find the printable with words and images by clicking here! Hope you will use it at the beginning of the day with your child and then use the activities multiple times throughout the day to help everyone be in an optimal learning state.